Karen Bell...."very angry, very hurt, just disgusted"
GARY POXON killed his three children because he was [convinced he was going to jail and therefore] could not live without them and they could not live without him, his devastated wife has said, speaking publicly for the first time about the tragedy.
Karen Bell, who described her emotions as "very angry, very hurt, just disgusted", said the murder of her children by her violent husband was his revenge, to make her feel guilty for leaving him - "he was trying to make me feel guilty for the rest of my life, and I do".
The murder-suicide was triggered, she said, because Mr Poxon, 44, feared she would take the children away from him [if he was sent to jail.] She had taken out an apprehended violence order, the third one, just days before.
In his suicide note he wrote he couldn't "live without the kids and the kids can't live without me and it's the end", she said in an interview. "He thought he was going to lose his kids [ if he was going to be sent to jail."]
[So why did the Sydney Morning Herald not mention this? Because it does not serve their corporate interests. However they should be more open minded to the truth because it serves the community better in terms of crime prevention, next time.]
She said: "I feel guilty that I wasn't there to protect my children. Anybody who has a child would know that. You know, that is all you live for … You do everything for them you can. You try to make the best life you can, and they've just been taken away."
The children - Jack, 9, Maddie, 7, and Bon, 18 months - died of carbon monoxide poisoning after their father sealed them in a four-wheel-drive with two hoses running into it. They were found last Friday week, but it is unclear when they died.
"The guy deserves to rot in hell," said Ms Bell's brother-in-law, Alister Haining. "We never thought he would do anything to the kids. We thought he was a doting dad. In public view he was calm with the kids, calm to Karen." He said Ms Bell was "strong and calm" before the children's funeral, to be held in Bega on Wednesday.
Ms Bell told how she called the police on Saturday, June 21, after another violent row with her husband. He was charged with assault, put on an apprehended violence order and released. "He calls me the next morning, says he's allowed to come home and needed to be picked up … I thought I could bring him home and I could take the kids and go, but as soon as he got home he wouldn't let me take the kids."
Ms Bell left the farmhouse in Pericoe, west of Eden, without the children, driving to her parents' home in Bega. She never saw them alive again.
"Ultimately, I don't think anything would have prevented him from doing it unless I had the children and he didn't see them," she said.
Mr Haining said Ms Bell was speaking out to encourage others to be vigilant. "I would just watch my neighbours, watch what is going on," he said. "Try to be vigilant and don't be scared of approaching the authorities if you think there is a problem with the kids."
Quote: But there was something that could have prevented this crime and that is if Gary Poxon did not fear he would go to jail. The fear of going to jail causes this crime.
There are other ways to discourage domestic violence other than cause a person to fear going to jail. The fear of going to jail is the ultimate embarrassment to any citizen in the community who has lived a life, besides being domestically violent, or even when they are not domestically violent, but just have a personality clash with their partner, otherwise living lawfully.
The fear of being sent to prison is made worse because of the stigma produced by the corporate media and of course the lack of opportunity to be with one's children.
Lack of consultation with people who have been in similar circumstances is another reason why the authorities fail to recognise this.
If you look into Gary Poxan's predispositions and history with his own parents you may find out that there were other reasons why he was so ridged and not flexible about not being able to live with his kids or the dilemma in his own mind about why he thought his kids could not live without him.
Gary Poxon could have been kept in jail but sooner or later he would have been released, possibly very raged and angry?
Karen and the children could have been taken into hiding by Task Force Harm, Google it, the states protection group, indefinitely or until the parents and children were cleard for unification because of better results and outcomes. Believe it or not people can and do get over the initial trauma caused by family breakdown and their personal history, the way they were each raised and how that changed their way of thinking about it and the future.
Or more community consultation could have been organised making Gary seek councelling instead of being threatened by the fear of prison.
Those are some of the options in these cases that could have prevented this 'triple murder' suicide.
Remember the punishment is the crime for a world without violence. Years down the track Gary would have got over it and learned like the rest of us, that 'violence does not win'.
Yet another predisposing factor could have been how he was raised as a child? Was he 'smacked' punished instead of being taught dialogue when disciplined?
Please note that the only person who can be legaly assaulted in our community is a 'child' below the neck. Why is that? Read the links and find out why that is so wrong.
I would encourage the 'authorities' to do a complete family history check on Gary Poxon to find out more about it and how to prevent this type of crime next time.
Question: Why did the STATE fail to protect Karen Bell and their children - Jack, 9, Maddie, 7, and Bon, 18 months after 'three' apprehended violence orders? Those were the significant indications that there may be further problems. One violent strike and you're out!. Two violent strikes is a serious threat!! Three violent strikes is definitely a possible crisis situation waiting to happen.
Also remember that the above scenario won't prevent the police family axe murders as mentioned at the start of last nights program on 60 Minutes, that will take another giant leap into the 69-year-old John Walsh family history, the events surrounding the circumstances of his fall and the severity of his crime. I wonder if 60 Minutes will do a story about that?
Lyricks The Future - can't remember the author.
Your high in your feelings, you care even more. But now i'll tell you something that I think you should know. You just can't believe me when I tell you, what you mean to me...the future. You cause me confusion. You told me you cared. The past is the present and the future is there.
Related:
Family homicides 'need monitoring'
The state's ombudsman has renewed his call for a special task force to investigate all domestic violence-related homicides in the wake of two family tragedies this week. In the first case, the bodies of a 44-year-old man and his three children were found inside a car in the driveway of their property on the NSW far south coast.
Family was troubled: neighbours
Neighbours of a man and his three children whose bodies were found in their driveway say it was well-known in the area that the family had problems.
Police arrest alleged police family killer
Police have arrested a grandfather accused of killing his wife and two grandchildren, and seriously injuring his daughter, with an axe in New South Wales
International Conference on Penal Abolition
The full agenda for ICOPA is now online, and pending any further changes, the line-up is looking like we're going to have a fascinating conference. With speakers coming to present papers from Brazil, Trinidad, Canada, Australia, USA, Belgium, Argentina, South Africa plus many more including the UK, we are really looking at a truly international conference.
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